#77 - Move across country

It started on a whim.  My wife needed a better job and got an offer for an interview with Microsoft.

"I shouldn't agree to it.  It's not like we are going to move to Washington, right."

"Why not?" I said.  "Besides, interviewing doesn't mean that you have to take the job.  But why not see if you have a shot?" 

Seriously?  I said that?  By opening up the possibility of moving I realized I was accepting the fact that I was willing to move across country to not only help my wife find that work-life balance, but also to help our relationship find that work-life balance.  The difference between my long hours and hers was that I loved my job and the people I worked with, even though we frustrate each other at times.  They are my colleagues, my friends, my 2nd family.

Truth is, I didn't realize what this transition was going to be like when my wife and I were discussing the possibility of her finding a new job last spring.  However, it wasn't the first time I had thought about leaving my job.  When she initially thought about looking out of state for employment, I had actually applied to San Jose College.  I didn't even get an interview, but the idea of going somewhere else never really materialized into a concerted effort by the time I received the rejection email.  And I was fine with staying where I was at the time.  But I'm pretty sure the thought that my life needed a different setting before it ended was already hatched.  And just like that, the item was added to my list.

The journey hasn't been easy for either of us, and we're still in the middle of it.  While I'm in the process of driving through 8 states to get to our apartment, it will take time for it to feel like "home."  Though, much like Peru will always be home for my wife, Chicagoland, including where I used to work, will always be home for me.  While I knew I was going to add a new setting to my life, I didn't want a change the cast of characters (and some of them are definitely characters).  And that brings me to one of my fears in this move, losing the relationships with those I am close to.

I have no doubt I will stay in contact with those that mean the most to me.  What's not clear is if, when we get together again, will it seem like time has passed or are things going to feel like normal?  That's the question.  It's not a secret that I haven't had many close friends in my life.  A couple of great ones from high school and my second roommate from college.  All of which I think have worked harder than I did to continue the friendship when it seemed like it was waning.  Not sure why I am so blessed.

Tonight, we've stopped in Makato, MN.  The first night after saying goodbye to a place that was home for 5 years, that had only ever been our home.  This is harder than when we left the house my grandfather built in the 50s, the one I have memories of as a child and as an adult.  This was different.  This was ours and only ours.  Even though I get that there's always an end, it doesn't get rid of the pain, the sorry, the big metaphoric hole in my chest (though it feels completely real, let me tell you).  I am glad that I don't have to return to see it again.  It feels like there is too much unfinished.

So I lie here in my hotel bed, typing this out, listening to my gatita cry because she is in an unfamiliar place.  I am transitioning and it is as much an emotional journey as it is a physical one.  My hope is that you take it, at least parts of it, with me.  And I'll do my best to keep you updated on where I am, both in my travels as well as existentially.